Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
