last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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