This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize