I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
