My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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