I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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