NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Randomize
