i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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