dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
