no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
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It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
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Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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