Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
