the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
