Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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