looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
