I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
