I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
