oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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