Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize