my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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