your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
