If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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