Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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