so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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