I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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