Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
well you can't waste a boner
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
