Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
