Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
