Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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