Dual....:-)
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Please don't give away my fajitas
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
