love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
