If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Bring me that man meat
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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