we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
