clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Congratulations! We have a period
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