I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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