she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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