She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
