Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
