I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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