That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.