did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
