No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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