Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen

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(402): View more from Nebraska

when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"

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(503): View more from Oregon

Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?

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(210): View more from Texas

It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face

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