and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
