Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
