The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
