I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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