She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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