I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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