This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
