its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
