Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
