Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
