My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
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