My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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