3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I met the friendliest cop last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
