Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
A+ Viking dick
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
