Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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