I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
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You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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