sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
