What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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