Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
