i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
