Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
