Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
