Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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