yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
